She's the Reason
by devuhreegee
Summary: A slightly AU story. James and Lily are out of school and in hiding from Voldemort together. What is the real reason James can't sleep? ONESHOT. Please read and review.


The low and incessant thud of a bass resounded against the opposite side of the wall that his bed was against. Who in the world would be up at two in the morning, listening to music this loud? It had been this way for the two whole weeks he had been in this place- their neighbors to the south always having his or her stereo cranked up to obscene levels, and James Potter suffering from sleep deprivation because of it.

Even though the girl he loved more than life itself was asleep in the room next to his, James did not want to be in this wretched place. Death was plaguing the wizarding world, and there was no cure in sight. Voldemort's followers, formally known as Death Eaters, were killing innocent lives, on You-Know-Who's orders, and on their own free will. Anyone who posed as a threat to Voldemort's attempt to overtake the wizarding world was taken out. Wiped away from existence. Never to bee seen or heard from again.

And the Ministry! What a fabulous job they were doing always telling the public through the Daily Prophet that they were gaining in on Voldemort, and it was only a matter of days before they had him.

Lies. People found comfort and safety in lies. Oh the irony.

And that was exactly the reason why Lily and himself were in this…place. Dumbledore had notified them a fortnight ago that Voldemort had personally marked the two eighteen-year-olds and Sirius for death. The Headmaster had placed them in a three-bedroom flat in the outskirts of London, and made himself their Secret Keeper. The only people besides Dumbledore himself that knew of Lily, James and Sirius's whereabouts were Remus and McGonagall.

Other than that…they were in total seclusion. They had been ordered not to leave the flat unless it was absolutely necessary, and when such an occasion occurred, they had to travel with another person. No privacy was allowed.

In an attempt to get away from the music, James pushed the sheets off of him and brought himself to his feet. He wore nothing but a grungy pair of jeans that drug on the floor as he shuffled across it. James Potter didn't own any pajamas, therefore it was quite common for him to sleep in his clothes.

Momentarily later, he found himself in the kitchen, staring into the florescent light that came from their miniscule refrigerator not even if he was hungry or thirsty. He opted for a half-empty carton of orange juice and began to drink it.

Lily Evans hadn't been able to sleep very well herself the past few nights, but it all ultimately caught up with her and made her pass out once she let her head hit the pillow. However, around two in the morning, she woke up to the sound of feet shuffling across the floor outside her bedroom door. Knowing that it could only be James, she forced herself out of bed to see what was keeping him up.

As she watched him standing at the sink with a glass in his hand and staring out the window, wearing nothing but his jeans, Lily's head became light and dizzy with the thought that he looked a great deal like a model. She wanted so bad to be with him, but she couldn't bring herself to confess to him how she wanted so much more than friendship; it just seemed wrong since he told her earlier that year that he thought of her as a sister. A sister. That's not how she wanted to be seen.

"James," her voice broke from being so tired. "You can't stay up this late every night. It's not healthy."

James didn't even turn his head to look at the redhead. "I know Lily. I wish I could sleep, I really do, but our stupid neighbor keeps blasting his bloody music."

"James, you know how light of a sleeper I am and I can sleep through it. And I know you too well; What's really keeping you up?" She walked over to the counter and pulled herself up onto it so she could sit down, all the while gazing at James. Damn it she did know him too well. But how in the world was he going to tell her that SHE was the reason he lost sleep at night? Even when he did get sleep, she was in his dreams. "Just thinking about things, Lils."

"That's obvious."

"It's nothing I promise."

"James," Lily pressed in as she got up and stood next to him. She could feel the warmth from his body radiating off of him. "Don't lie to me. I hate it when you do that to make me feel better." She then put her hand on his forehead; it was hot to the touch. "You're burning up."

"Yeah well it doesn't concern you," he snapped loudly as he turned to face her. Liar. "And quit worrying about me like you're my mother!" His muscular chest was heaving and his hazel eyes displayed an emotion of sorrow, anger and compassion. Lily's face fell and looked at him with ice in her eyes.

"Fine," she responded frigidly. "Next time you need help, I won't even bother." Lily pushed past him forcefully and marched out of the kitchen. James closed his eyes angrily and swore a string of profanities under his breath as Lily stormed out. He somehow always lost his temper around her and felt like a complete asshole afterwards.

The young man dashed to the doorway and called out to the redhead who was just outside her room. "Lily wait." James sighed as he leaned his forearm against the doorframe. "I lied. The reason I can't sleep at night does concern you because you're the reason. I worry about what might happen to you when I'm not around, and I fear that Death Eaters will come in the night and take you away or even kill you. So I stay up, listening for any sound that indicates danger. I can't let that happen to you Lily…I just can't…I love you."

Lily had stopped in the doorway of her room when James spoke out to her, and what she heard made her heart start to rush. She furrowed her eyebrows as she turned around to look back at him, a confused expression on her face. "What did you say?"

James dropped his arm and walked down the dark hall towards Lily. He stopped in front of her and placed his large hands on her small shoulders. "I love you Lily. I love you so much it hurts. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't think straight without thoughts of you coming into my head. I want to be the man you wake up to every morning and I want to protect you even if it means giving my life to do so."

Lily's eyes were full of tears that she was refusing to let go. She knew what she wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come out. They were stuck in her throat, and her mouth refused to open. The tears were falling freely now and Lily smiled through them as she stared into James's warm hazel eyes. It was as if his eyes were the key to unlock her words. "I love you too," she whispered shakily. "I want to wake up to you every morning and I want you to protect me…and I want to protect you too."

James wouldn't hear anymore of it. He cupped Lily's face into his hands and kissed her. It was all that he had thought it would be. Heaven in the form of Lily's full lips. He felt her stiffen up and then relax as she wrapped her arms around him, willingly kissing him back.


End file.
